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I’ve been fl!rting with this Akwa Ibom girl I met online for months now. Her name is Edidiong & she lives in Calabar.
There’s no segz style we haven’t discussed-doggy style, monkey style, wheelbarrow, scissors—you name it, we’ve sezted about it. We even exchanged nudÂŁs a couple of times. She once dared me that I couldn’t handle her in bed, said I wasn’t up to the challenge. I laughed & bet her 100k that I could go 10 rounds in one night, no breaks.
She laughed & said, “I’m an Akwa Ibom babe! You’ll be the one to run.” I replied, “‘i’m Delta! Na women dey run from us, not the other way around.”
Truth be told, I was just running my mouth. I like to fl!rt online & that’s it.
Me that can barely manage one round in a night, where I wan see energy do 10 rounds when I’m not VDM.So, one afternoon, I was at home, Netflix and chilling with my wife, when I heard a knock at the door. I got up, went to see who it was, and almost fainted. There she was-Edidiong! Standing at my door with a small travelling bag and a mischievous smile
“Won’t you invite me in?” she said, as if we’d planned this.My jaw dropped to the ground. “Invite you in where? How did u get my home address?!” | didn’t know whether to be scared or angry. I never gave this girl my house address & I certainly didn’t invite her all the way from Calabar It was juste innocent & h@rmless fl!rting for fun!
“Honey, who’s at the door?” It was my wife, asking
“Honey ke, who’s that?” It was Edidiong, asking
“Uh… baby, it’s Jehovah’s Witnesses!” I quickly shouted back, trying to buy myself some time.After a few seconds, my wife called out again, “Honey, I can’t hear you. I’m in the restroom.”
I realized she’d gone to hide. Lately, Jehovah’s Witnesses have been visiting us, and my wife was fed up with their long sermons—they wouldn’t leave until they finished preaching the entire magazine.I turned to Edidiong and whispered,
“Look, that’s my wife inside! What are you doing here? Why did you come?”
“You’re married?!” she asked, looking genuinely surprised.
“Yes, very happily married! What are you doing here? How did you even find my house?”
“You didn’t tell me you were married,” she said in her thick Calabar accent
“That’s not important,” I said,
panicking. “How did you get my house address? Are you a w!tch?!”“I’m not a w!tch. You bet me 100k that I couldn’t fvck you for 10 rounds, so l came to win you. I checked your Linkedin profile, saw your office address, went there, and your colleague Mr. Tope gave me your home address.”
“Tope! That b@stard set me up because I refused to l!e to his wife about the p@nt she found in his car.
This is his revenge!”How can he do this. This is taking it too far. What if Edidiong was an ass@ssin?
“So, you’re married, men eh,” she said again, shaking her head.
“Look, that’s not important. I was joking! I’m not a segz fre@k, I can’t even last more than one round.
Please, just go back to Calabar. You can’t stay here!”
“I don’t have transport, and I need the 100k because I won the bet.” She said.I nearly lost it, but for the sake of peace, I transferred 50k to her after transferring her transport to and tro, “‘ then I slammed the door in her face. I found my wife hiding in the bathroom.
“Honey, have they gone?” she whispered.
“Yes, my love. We’re free!” I said, relieved.
“Ah, they left just like that? That was fast o,” she replied, surprised.“Yes, baby. I sowed a special seed to them.”
“It’s fine. As long as they’re gone. You can give them 100k if you want.”
“Good, because I gave them 50k.”That’s how “Jehovah witness” saved my marriage.